Two people when they are in a relationship talk and express their points of view, engage in discussions and each comes from their own individual perspective. These views do not always have to be the same or similar to each other. And when they are dissimilar or expressly divergent from each other, we find problems start to arise. This is the point at which frequently conflicts tend to surface causing people to be in disagreement with each other, leading to a host of negative experiences and expressions.
The bottom line is that relationships tend to be fragile, whether we accept it or not. This fragility tends to be at the root cause of a lot of problems that tend to permeate relationships. How this happens is rather interesting. It is not that we decide and intentionally make our relationships susceptible to misunderstandings or misconceptions or become intolerant of divergent points of view. It just so happens that unconsciously we begin to attribute meaning and intent in a negative direction, which, if we were to become more aware and conscious of or if we were to apply logic and be more rational, we ourselves would dispel and relegate to the background.
However, the fact of the matter is that we rarely, if ever, do that. And this happens more so because we don't even realise what is happening. The point that I am trying to make here is that to bring about any change the first and foremost step is self-awareness. It is imperative that we be able to identify the errors we make in our thought processes as becoming more aware of these aspects goes a long way in ensuring that when opportunities arise we would also be able to take some steps and create measures that would keep such processes in check.
Being aware of how one's mind works and utilising that knowledge to build an understanding of the self, would also ensure that one is able to critically evaluate situations. A lot of times conflicts tend to persist also because we couldn't think clearly enough or recognise that the other individual's perspective too could have some merit associated with it. Knowing the fallacies of our own patterns of thinking and perceiving ensures that there is more of a chance that we would consider things more neutrally than from a perspective which has emotional undercurrents running through it.
Recognising our own fallibility and the fact that we too are susceptible to mistakes and errors, makes one more tolerant of others, which is another factor that can function in a protective manner against conflicts. Learning to listen to each other is an art and one that each one of us must possess. We can't always be right, however much we may want it to to be. It therefore is essential to take stock of one's own role in creating situations and in perpetuating them so that we are able to be more open to and receptive of the views of others.
Conflicts don't arise in a vacuum. They appear on account of a context and are embedded within it. The context deserves as much importance and the meaning we attach to it is contingent upon how we choose to view and interpret the situation. Taking cognisance of the role we play and being aware and accepting of it is equally important as is being aware of what the other person is bringing to the table in terms of their responses and ways of handling the situation may be acting as contributory or compounding factors in creating the conflict. Where one needs to be aware of one's own role, knowledge of what the other does also empowers in being able to cut away the impact of their acts as well as putting you in the position of being able to make them aware of what they do and the changes which if they bring about could go a long way in changing things.
No relationship can survive too long if it is festered with conflict. If you want the "happy ever after" ending then you have to work on the chinks within your relationship which includes the conflicts that adorn it. You can't run away from them...you have to face them and you have to work to tackle them. Taking a proactive approach is a better strategy than allowing things to either lie dormant or be in their full bloom. So try and work on the conflicts that you face in your relationships...it would go a long way in making life more happy and relaxed.
The bottom line is that relationships tend to be fragile, whether we accept it or not. This fragility tends to be at the root cause of a lot of problems that tend to permeate relationships. How this happens is rather interesting. It is not that we decide and intentionally make our relationships susceptible to misunderstandings or misconceptions or become intolerant of divergent points of view. It just so happens that unconsciously we begin to attribute meaning and intent in a negative direction, which, if we were to become more aware and conscious of or if we were to apply logic and be more rational, we ourselves would dispel and relegate to the background.
However, the fact of the matter is that we rarely, if ever, do that. And this happens more so because we don't even realise what is happening. The point that I am trying to make here is that to bring about any change the first and foremost step is self-awareness. It is imperative that we be able to identify the errors we make in our thought processes as becoming more aware of these aspects goes a long way in ensuring that when opportunities arise we would also be able to take some steps and create measures that would keep such processes in check.
Being aware of how one's mind works and utilising that knowledge to build an understanding of the self, would also ensure that one is able to critically evaluate situations. A lot of times conflicts tend to persist also because we couldn't think clearly enough or recognise that the other individual's perspective too could have some merit associated with it. Knowing the fallacies of our own patterns of thinking and perceiving ensures that there is more of a chance that we would consider things more neutrally than from a perspective which has emotional undercurrents running through it.
Recognising our own fallibility and the fact that we too are susceptible to mistakes and errors, makes one more tolerant of others, which is another factor that can function in a protective manner against conflicts. Learning to listen to each other is an art and one that each one of us must possess. We can't always be right, however much we may want it to to be. It therefore is essential to take stock of one's own role in creating situations and in perpetuating them so that we are able to be more open to and receptive of the views of others.
Conflicts don't arise in a vacuum. They appear on account of a context and are embedded within it. The context deserves as much importance and the meaning we attach to it is contingent upon how we choose to view and interpret the situation. Taking cognisance of the role we play and being aware and accepting of it is equally important as is being aware of what the other person is bringing to the table in terms of their responses and ways of handling the situation may be acting as contributory or compounding factors in creating the conflict. Where one needs to be aware of one's own role, knowledge of what the other does also empowers in being able to cut away the impact of their acts as well as putting you in the position of being able to make them aware of what they do and the changes which if they bring about could go a long way in changing things.
No relationship can survive too long if it is festered with conflict. If you want the "happy ever after" ending then you have to work on the chinks within your relationship which includes the conflicts that adorn it. You can't run away from them...you have to face them and you have to work to tackle them. Taking a proactive approach is a better strategy than allowing things to either lie dormant or be in their full bloom. So try and work on the conflicts that you face in your relationships...it would go a long way in making life more happy and relaxed.
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